Oh, just one more time…who will notice? No one is looking. Just one more lie…who will know? I know this isn’t the way God wanted for me, but this is much better than what He had in store for my life. Besides, God must not have had all the facts before He made His rules. It’s not that big of a deal anyway, right?
Have you ever thought these things, ladies? I know I have. And unfortunately, I can speak from experience that better does not wait on the other side of disobedience. Whether big or small, disobedience is offensive to the Lord—like left overs that you find months later in the back of your frig…it reaks and must be dealt with.
During my undergrad, I went through dating relationship after dating relationship, convinced that I was going to prove something by making a mess of a man’s heart. I had so much hatred pent up in my heart as a result of my parent’s divorce—and I was not about to let someone get near to me again to cause similar destruction. Yet, I still wanted the attention and affection. I did not believe that I was of great value. I did not hold fast to the scriptures that state how precious life is to God (John 3:16, Romans 5:8, 1 Peter 5:6-7 and 1 John 4:9). I was convinced that I could trust God, but not men. This was a major area that the Lord had to heal within my own heart before I would meet my husband a few years later.
I began to wonder if God had forgotten me. If God really had a plan and purpose for my life, where was He in the midst of my struggle? I knew the answer—He was walking beside me, encouraging me to let go of my own hatred and rebellion and return to the Lord. Yet, my calloused heart was not ready to give up the heat of my anger and rage. I had begun to take pleasure in attention from lustful eyes and starving myself from the food my body craved. I was a shell of who I once was. And as I looked into the mirror, I realized that I no longer knew the face staring back at me. What had I become?
“But because of His great love for us, God, who is rich in mercy, made us alive with Christ even when we were dead in transgressions-it is by grace you have been saved.” Ephesians 4:5-6 (NIV)
As I was willing to confess my sinful and rebellious lifestyle to the Lord, it was as if something broke inside my heart. The desire and ability to follow the Lord had returned to my heart once more—and a passionate desire to follow close to the will of the Lord resulted. In that time, God taught me many things about myself and others. I learned how to accept love from a man in a pure way and not feel obligated to do something in return for his affection or attention. Perhaps you too can relate.
Maybe you have always felt like an outcast, but are now receiving attention that you have desired all of your life. What do you do with this new found attention or attractive men sending texts, messages or gifts? May I encourage you, ground yourself in what the Lord says about you before entering into a physical relationship with a man. If you do not know who you are in Jesus Christ, you will be easily persuaded to rebellion and wind up acting on emotions that will lead you into trouble or worse (James 1:13-15). Tell the Lord about each situation and/or individual you are feeling tempted to act shady with. God will always provide a way out from our temptations and struggles (James 1:5). God is faithful and you are declared as eternally beautiful and precious before the God of all creation through the finished work of Jesus Christ. You are not stuck in your situation, girlfriend. Allow Him to cleanse you and give you the victory over wrong choices that is found in Jesus Christ alone. You are worth it. Walk in truth.